What if I forget to confess something?

Q. What should I do if I forget to confess something and remember only after I have left the priest? And what if I do something without knowing it’s a sin, but find out afterwards that what I did was condemned by the church. Is it a sin that must be confessed?

A. We are only obliged to confess sins that we know are wrong and that we know we did willingly and consciously. A good confession should begin with a careful examination of our life to identify what are our serious - and even less serious sins. If we realize later that we have forgotten a serious sin, we should find an opportunity to bring it to confession at another time. We are not obliged to do this immediately and we may receive communion because we acted in good faith when we made the confession. We can say we are sorry when we become aware of it, and make an effort to confess it later when it is reasonable to do so.

If we discover after the fact that something we did is wrong in God’s eyes and in the eyes of the church, we can bring it to confession but explain that at the time we committed this sin we were unaware of its sinfulness or seriousness. Such a sin is not one we are fully responsible for, because when we did it, we did not know it is wrong. For this reason we do not have to confess it, but I suggest bringing it to confession because we may realize that our sin had a negative effect. Let me give an example from a different experience. I might accidentally hit a person crossing the street. I can claim “it was not my fault” and speak the truth. If I was driving correctly I am not at fault. But I will likely feel very sorry that someone was injured and want to tell them ” I am sorry” because I see the hurt that I inflicted even without intending it. So it is with sin. Sin always hurts someone. When I realize this, I will want to do something to set things right, even if I can truthfully say: “I didn’t know…”